Coaching Academics?
11 years ago
Friday, November 13, 2009
sigh
I’m here in the grad room (we call it the library) trying to write my paper. But I can’t focus. How can I when another student is here, with his iPod on so loud that I can actually hear it. And he is an angry disturbed kinda fella, who likes every one to know how hard he is working and how hard his life is by constantly seeking attention through the antics like obnoxiously taking in a deep breath and sighing out loud.....every minute (I’ve been timing him), or every time he looks at a new data point, or just before the mumbles to himself “this is bull-shit”. He’s freaking me out!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
No way
No freakin way....I just got an e-mail from my department saying that they just now noticed that I didn't take "the" ethics course. They informed me that they enrolled me and I was required to take it in the spring. ARE THEY OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS???????????? I'm in the middle of writing my dissertation. I'm hardly in the lab any more.
Ok, I transferred to this dept. from another here in the same university. During my first semester in that program I had a very crappy ethics over view, but I had it. Furthermore, I brought this up at my FIRST committee meeting here in my new department, from which they agreed that I had met and completed my ethics obligation. SO FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't work with human subjects, and I'm not the person who stole someone else's work only to claim as there own....that honor goes to Ms. Brown N. Make her take the freakin ethics course.
Ok, I transferred to this dept. from another here in the same university. During my first semester in that program I had a very crappy ethics over view, but I had it. Furthermore, I brought this up at my FIRST committee meeting here in my new department, from which they agreed that I had met and completed my ethics obligation. SO FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't work with human subjects, and I'm not the person who stole someone else's work only to claim as there own....that honor goes to Ms. Brown N. Make her take the freakin ethics course.
Life filters
As a naturally social person, its been very hard enduring the abandonment and ostracism of the last two years. I’ve gone from a very confident social individual to the women in lab meetings so scared to say anything that I would pinch my lips together holding back.
Now, after working with my Dept. head to carefully get myself finished up and out of the current lab with out risk to my project, publication and NIH fellowship (essentially I fired my PI and am finishing my work in another lab and writing my paper and dissertation), I feel that I’m starting to come back.
I remember why friends are so important....they are critical distractors to the daily bullshit. Real friends can and will be brutally honest with you and more importantly, they help us find a way to laugh and stop taking it out on my poor husband. Friends are our filters of life. Without them, life becomes very contaminated and stinky (yes, I'm a dork!).
Let’s be real. How many of the people who really care about me gives a fuck that I was cheated out of proper authorship? How many people will ever read my paper? Well, professionally that matters and hopefully when I search my name in PubMed I will see lots of other papers cite mine....but that will never replace the need to be apart of something. To share how excited I am that an experiment WORKED after 3 months of trouble shooting. If alone, who do I tell about Ms. Brown N’s latest antics? Or about Dr. Ass Hole’s insistence that I don’t understand how restrictions enzymes work because I proposed doing a digest, DNA hybridization technique to look for genomic alterations....only to read about it done by another lab later....asshole....
Ha, in the grad scheme of things, I think I’m pretty good at what I do and what I can do. I have ideas and read about similar approaches and results later. This has only helped me build my mental confidence.
If I could only act this way in person, at the right moment, at the time its happening......
I’m working on it.
Now, after working with my Dept. head to carefully get myself finished up and out of the current lab with out risk to my project, publication and NIH fellowship (essentially I fired my PI and am finishing my work in another lab and writing my paper and dissertation), I feel that I’m starting to come back.
I remember why friends are so important....they are critical distractors to the daily bullshit. Real friends can and will be brutally honest with you and more importantly, they help us find a way to laugh and stop taking it out on my poor husband. Friends are our filters of life. Without them, life becomes very contaminated and stinky (yes, I'm a dork!).
Let’s be real. How many of the people who really care about me gives a fuck that I was cheated out of proper authorship? How many people will ever read my paper? Well, professionally that matters and hopefully when I search my name in PubMed I will see lots of other papers cite mine....but that will never replace the need to be apart of something. To share how excited I am that an experiment WORKED after 3 months of trouble shooting. If alone, who do I tell about Ms. Brown N’s latest antics? Or about Dr. Ass Hole’s insistence that I don’t understand how restrictions enzymes work because I proposed doing a digest, DNA hybridization technique to look for genomic alterations....only to read about it done by another lab later....asshole....
Ha, in the grad scheme of things, I think I’m pretty good at what I do and what I can do. I have ideas and read about similar approaches and results later. This has only helped me build my mental confidence.
If I could only act this way in person, at the right moment, at the time its happening......
I’m working on it.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Can we use any of these to stop the passive aggressive suck up's?
I found this list of "snappy comebacks" (site below), and wondered if I could apply any of them to my situation.
Let's try:
1. Dr. Ass Hole, Does your stream of consciousness have any fish in it?
2. When Dr. Ass Hole leaves notes on my bench, that everyone see's and senses is trouble, informing me that we need to talk..."Ah! I see the memo fairy has visited us again".
3. This is towards one of the grad students in lab. Lets call her Ms. Brown N. Hey Brown, I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Dr. Ass Hole to me. CFS, you actually want me to read your e-mails and listen to the words you say....um, how about never? Is never good for you?
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. - Don't have to, Dr. Ass Hole does it for me on a regular basis.
6. This is exactly how Ms. Brown N. behaves! I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
7. So the following is my behavior to Ms. Brown's #6....I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
8. oh, and this is the other grad student, let's call him Don, short for (I DON't give a fuck), I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message student.
9. Our lab tech. - I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
10. The look on Dr. Ass Hole's face when I speak....It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
11. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
12. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
13. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
14. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. - Clearly the choice that Dr. Ass Hole is going with.
15. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth (actually, this is how I've been treated for last two years......no more!).
16. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
17. (an oldie but goodie) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist (Actually, I think this will be the topic of my next post.....stay tuned).
19. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental, given #'s 1, 2...14, 11...oh all of them!
20. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? - Actually, I've wondered this for years.
21. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. - My NEW insight into the world of research!
22. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
23. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
24. No, my powers can never be used for good.
25. You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
26. Who me? I just wander from room to room
27. And Ms. Brown...your crybaby, whiney-butt opinion would be?
28. Do I look like a people person?
29. This isn't a lab. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
30. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. - Actually the name of my bar after turning in my publication and dissertation is the "Wasted Ph.D". Any investors out there? I will also have a room (like a speak easy) named the "lounge of negative results".
31. You! Off my planet! - My personal favorite.
32. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
34. I am a PBS mind in an MTV world.
35. Allow me to introduce my selves. - Its true, I'm a Gemini.
36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
37. Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.
38. Not all managers are annoying. Some are dead.
39. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
40. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
41. Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
42. Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 1?
43. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
44. Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
45. Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done
46. How do I set a laser printer on "stun"?
47. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
48. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
49. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. - Although, if I could find and characterize this Sarcasm gene (Sar1) I see Nobel Prize in the future......
http://www.globe-guardian.com/archives/twisted/tl0005.htm
Let's try:
1. Dr. Ass Hole, Does your stream of consciousness have any fish in it?
2. When Dr. Ass Hole leaves notes on my bench, that everyone see's and senses is trouble, informing me that we need to talk..."Ah! I see the memo fairy has visited us again".
3. This is towards one of the grad students in lab. Lets call her Ms. Brown N. Hey Brown, I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Dr. Ass Hole to me. CFS, you actually want me to read your e-mails and listen to the words you say....um, how about never? Is never good for you?
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. - Don't have to, Dr. Ass Hole does it for me on a regular basis.
6. This is exactly how Ms. Brown N. behaves! I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
7. So the following is my behavior to Ms. Brown's #6....I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
8. oh, and this is the other grad student, let's call him Don, short for (I DON't give a fuck), I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message student.
9. Our lab tech. - I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
10. The look on Dr. Ass Hole's face when I speak....It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
11. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
12. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
13. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
14. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. - Clearly the choice that Dr. Ass Hole is going with.
15. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth (actually, this is how I've been treated for last two years......no more!).
16. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
17. (an oldie but goodie) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist (Actually, I think this will be the topic of my next post.....stay tuned).
19. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental, given #'s 1, 2...14, 11...oh all of them!
20. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? - Actually, I've wondered this for years.
21. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. - My NEW insight into the world of research!
22. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
23. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
24. No, my powers can never be used for good.
25. You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
26. Who me? I just wander from room to room
27. And Ms. Brown...your crybaby, whiney-butt opinion would be?
28. Do I look like a people person?
29. This isn't a lab. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
30. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left. - Actually the name of my bar after turning in my publication and dissertation is the "Wasted Ph.D". Any investors out there? I will also have a room (like a speak easy) named the "lounge of negative results".
31. You! Off my planet! - My personal favorite.
32. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
34. I am a PBS mind in an MTV world.
35. Allow me to introduce my selves. - Its true, I'm a Gemini.
36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
37. Well, your day is a total waste of makeup.
38. Not all managers are annoying. Some are dead.
39. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
40. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
41. Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
42. Can I trade this job for what's behind door Number 1?
43. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
44. Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
45. Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done
46. How do I set a laser printer on "stun"?
47. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
48. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
49. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. - Although, if I could find and characterize this Sarcasm gene (Sar1) I see Nobel Prize in the future......
http://www.globe-guardian.com/archives/twisted/tl0005.htm
At least THIS is funny
Right...found a great example of what I have to endure with my PI......and our "ability to communicate".
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Arthur: Who are you?
Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say "Ni"!
Arthur: No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!
Knight of Ni: The same.
Other Knight of Ni: Who are we?
Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!
Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!
Arthur: (to Bedevere) Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand a sacrifice!
Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!
Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" to you... if you do not appease us.
Arthur: Well what is it you want?
Knight of Ni: We want A SHRUBBERY!
Arthur: A WHAT?
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!
Arthur; No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.
Knight of Ni: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive.
Arthur: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
Knight of Ni: One that looks nice.
Arthur: Of course!
Knight of Ni: And not too expensive.
Arthur: Yes!
Knight of Ni: Now.... GO!
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Arthur: Who are you?
Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say "Ni"!
Arthur: No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!
Knight of Ni: The same.
Other Knight of Ni: Who are we?
Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!
Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!
Arthur: (to Bedevere) Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand a sacrifice!
Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!
Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" to you... if you do not appease us.
Arthur: Well what is it you want?
Knight of Ni: We want A SHRUBBERY!
Arthur: A WHAT?
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!
Arthur; No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.
Knight of Ni: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive.
Arthur: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
Knight of Ni: One that looks nice.
Arthur: Of course!
Knight of Ni: And not too expensive.
Arthur: Yes!
Knight of Ni: Now.... GO!
New e-mail absurdity
To me from my PI:
Dear CFS,
As you know, there is some confusion on the double deletion strains (OMG...yes....Dr. Ass Hole started the e-mail with “as you know...” I fucking hate that!).
1. Please tell us ASAP what data you have on which strain.
2. Did you use that "good" strain for testing complementation?
Me:
My initial thoughts - ASSSSSSS HOLLLLLEEEE.....I’ve been working on this project for 3 years now.....so Dr. Ass Hole has seen this data, has been sent this data, and has read this data a million fucking times!!!
My actual response - I have used 3 different isolate strains; 380, 288 and 289. All of my complementation strains were in 288 or in 380, and yes these strains are “good”.
I did test 381 in March 09. I was doing a head to head with 380, 381, 288, 289. All strains behaved similarly, except for 381 in which I noted that the 381 strain was growing on selection plates that it shouldn’t, given its supposed genotype. I also indicated that we had doubt in this strain anyway...which I don't elaborate on, but I can only recall you had a question mark next to 381 in your book. If I'm remembering correctly this was why we wanted to remake the strains and why I had made the 288 and 289 strains in the first place.
Dr. Ass Hole response:
Did you test 380---and did that strain have any differences from the others?
For 381, I will check with the tech.
Did the growth phenotype of 380, 288 and 289 all have same result?And did you check if the remaining events still are centered predominantly in the our region for any of these strains?
......and so ends another day......hummmmm
Dear CFS,
As you know, there is some confusion on the double deletion strains (OMG...yes....Dr. Ass Hole started the e-mail with “as you know...” I fucking hate that!).
1. Please tell us ASAP what data you have on which strain.
2. Did you use that "good" strain for testing complementation?
Me:
My initial thoughts - ASSSSSSS HOLLLLLEEEE.....I’ve been working on this project for 3 years now.....so Dr. Ass Hole has seen this data, has been sent this data, and has read this data a million fucking times!!!
My actual response - I have used 3 different isolate strains; 380, 288 and 289. All of my complementation strains were in 288 or in 380, and yes these strains are “good”.
I did test 381 in March 09. I was doing a head to head with 380, 381, 288, 289. All strains behaved similarly, except for 381 in which I noted that the 381 strain was growing on selection plates that it shouldn’t, given its supposed genotype. I also indicated that we had doubt in this strain anyway...which I don't elaborate on, but I can only recall you had a question mark next to 381 in your book. If I'm remembering correctly this was why we wanted to remake the strains and why I had made the 288 and 289 strains in the first place.
Dr. Ass Hole response:
Did you test 380---and did that strain have any differences from the others?
For 381, I will check with the tech.
Did the growth phenotype of 380, 288 and 289 all have same result?And did you check if the remaining events still are centered predominantly in the our region for any of these strains?
......and so ends another day......hummmmm
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Endnote
Really....I just spent 2 or more hours trying to figure out why my endnote and Mac (pages) would not get along. I've watched tutorials, spent time in various forums, and even searched for video’s through Youtube. And FINALLY it worked! Why? Switched the “edit citations” from “all” to “annotated” WTF!!!!!! Really.................
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